


Heartbreak

by Flightless_Bird



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Crying, Crying Yuuri hurts me, Fluff, Hopelessly in love fiancées, Hurt/Comfort, It really hurts victor, Kissing, Little bit angsty, M/M, Makkachin's there as well, Romance, Russian Pet Names, Set after ep 12, Sharing an apartment, Some domestic fluff, Victor helps him, Yuuri doesn't win gold, Yuuri is upset, ep 12 spoilers, what are tags
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-23
Updated: 2016-12-23
Packaged: 2018-09-11 10:37:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,470
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8976262
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Flightless_Bird/pseuds/Flightless_Bird
Summary: In which Victor has been oblivious and Yuuri is quiet about his heartbreak. That is, until Victor catches him crying in the middle of the night.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I love these two so much, it's ridiculous. Seriously. Okay, so the ending was sort of written quickly, so if it sucks please, just....ignore it DX   
> Other than that, I had this idea like right after ep 12, and I had to write it down. This is absolutely something I can see Yuuri struggling with, considering he's had low self-esteem before and he just barely missed his gold medal. So here it is, the result of all my feels. :)

It was still late. The two had maybe gone to bed an hour before, deep under blankets in a luxurious bed, in an equally luxurious apartment. Only the best would suit a five-time world champion. Oh, and his beautiful, silver-medal fiancée, of course. Moonlight found its way between the drawn shades and danced across the lump in the sheets. Victor curled himself up farther, hair spread out on the pillow like starlight. He was asleep at the moment, actually in the middle of a very pleasant dream. It involved bells, and flowers, and _oh, Yuuri looks so beautiful in a tuxedo..._

  
A sudden warm weight against his back tugged him up toward consciousness again. Fighting it off, he tried to cling to the last remnants of the dream. Then he felt something soft—Yuuri's lips maybe?—touch the back of his head. A smile curled his lips because of course he wasn't going to stay asleep if Yuuri wanted to wake him up like this. The insistent touch against his hair moved down and pressed into the crook of his neck. "Mm, Yuuri," Victor hummed, a giggle bubbling up in his throat because he was just a bit ticklish when Yuuri kissed his neck like that. "It's not even morning yet, what're you doing, _solnyshko_?" 

Then the something licked his ear and Victor yelped.

  
" _Makkachin_!" Bolting upright in bed, he gave his dog a gentle push to get the poodle off of him, then rubbed his hand over his neck. "That....was unpleasant," he muttered. Makkachin gazed up at him with those dark puppy eyes, tongue lolling happily. Sighing, he scratched behind Makkachin's ears, fur soft and plush under his fingertips. After a moment, he realized that Makkachin was sitting next to him on the mattress, instead of standing next to the bed. His brow furrowed when he noticed the space in bed where Yuuri usually was. It wasn't really that far into the night, but Yuuri had gone to bed with him earlier, so he should've still been there. Pushing the flop of his bangs out of his face, he swung his legs over the side of the bed.

  
Barefoot and in boxers, he padded out of the room. The rest of the apartment was still dark, as he headed down the hall. That is, it was dark until he neared the kitchen. A warm glow of light radiated out from inside and Victor found himself smiling as he drew near. So Yuuri was going to get a midnight snack? And he hadn't invited Victor?

  
He was about to come up with some sort of romantic greeting, when he heard something. It made him pause in the middle of the hallway, smile falling off of his face. Quiet sobs filtered out into the dark, interrupted once in a while by sniffling. Victor blinked, surprised. Yuuri was crying, alone? _Did something happen_? Worried now, he hurried the last few steps into the kitchen.

  
Yuuri sat on a stool, at the kitchen island. He was still in boxer briefs, which he wore to bed all the time, and one of Victor's navy shirts. It was cutely big on him, and he tugged the sleeves over his hands to wipe his eyes. There was another soft sob from him and Victor couldn't wait anymore. He walked into the room, knocking twice on the wall to announce his presence.

  
Yuuri's head jerked up, brown eyes wide and fixed on him. He saw the embarrassment spread over Yuuri's expression just before he ducked his head. "V—Victor," he stammered shakily, rubbing his eyes under his glasses in an attempt to get rid of his tears. "I didn't know... Why're you awake?"

  
"Makkachin woke me up," Victor explained. He studied Yuuri's face, the red tint in his eyes, and the tear tracks marking up his cheeks. He'd only seen Yuuri cry of sadness once before and it was just as heartbreaking this time. "Yuuri, what's wrong?"

  
"N—nothing." Waving a hand in denial, Yuuri used the other to wipe under his glasses again. "I'm fine. Just couldn't sleep, that's all."

  
Victor sent him a flat look. "Do you usually cry when you can't sleep?" he asked.

  
Yuuri glanced up at him guiltily, and Victor crossed his arms over his chest. There was a second of quiet between them. Then Yuuri's lower lip trembled and he turned away, hunched. His shoulders started to shake and Victor's heart broke. "Yuuri, no," he cooed, rounding the corner of the island and taking Yuuri's shoulders in his hands. "Don't cry, please. Tell me what's wrong." Wilting at Victor's touch, Yuuri leaned into him and wrapped his arms around his waist. Victor stepped into the embrace, placing a kiss to the top of Yuuri's head. The sobs weren't the gut-wrenching ones of that day when he'd threatened to resign, but they were close. They still made Victor shut his eyes tight, lips pressed to Yuuri's hair.

  
He hated when Yuuri cried like this, especially since he had no clue what could've made this happen.

  
Patiently, he waited while Yuuri cried into his chest. The hands at his back were tight, almost painful against his bare skin. But he didn't care. He stood in Yuuri's arms, carding his fingers through tousled, black hair and murmuring sweet words in Russian. A hand dropped to the top of Yuuri's back and curled in the fabric of his shirt. It was physically painful for Victor to see Yuuri falling apart like this. Finally, the crying began to subside, leaving behind a sticky dampness of tears on Victor's chest. Inhaling a shuddering breath, Yuuri drew back far enough to blink up at Victor through puffy eyes.

  
"Oh, _lyubov moya_ ," Victor murmured, "please tell me what's wrong." He gently took the glasses from Yuuri's nose, folded them, and placed them on the island. Then he smoothed his thumbs beneath his eyes to catch the last of his tears.

  
Yuuri leaned gratefully into his touch, eyelids sinking closed for a moment. Then he swallowed and avoided meeting Victor's gaze. "I—it's stupid," he muttered.

  
"Nothing bothering you this much could be stupid." Cradling Yuuri's jaw, Victor coaxed him to look up at him again. The reassurance in those ocean-blue eyes must've gotten through to Yuuri because he took another shaky breath.

  
"I...I didn't win gold."

  
It was a whispered, fragile confession that hung in the air like glass about to break. Victor's eyes widened. That hadn't been what he was expecting. He'd known that Yuuri might be a little disappointed at winning silver, but he'd never taken him as the person to cry over it. He was much stronger than that. But Victor offered him a warm smile, because for whatever reason, Yuuri needed it right now. "No, you didn't," he agreed. "But you were amazing, I promise you were. You worked so hard and I'm so proud, Yuuri. There's no reason to be—"

  
"No, I don't... I don't mean it like that," Yuuri cut him off abruptly.

  
Victor paused, watching the way Yuuri averted his eyes and twisted his fingers in the hem of his shirt. Was he...nervous? "Then what is it?" he asked, trying for a quiet, coaxing tone.

  
Sniffing, Yuuri dragged his sleeve over his face. When he spoke, he began roughly, but soon the words came spilling out of him. "You said, um, you said you wanted gold, that we'd be engaged until I got it, but I didn't, I tried so hard, and you said that's okay, but it's not, Victor, it's not, it's—" Breaking off, his breath hitched and he had to shut his eyes against a new flow of tears. Victor thumbed away one that escaped down his cheek, dumbfounded as Yuuri blinked up at him with glistening eyes. "I just—I—I wanna marry you," he whimpered softly.

  
Victor's breath left his lungs in one heartbeat.

  
_I'm an idiot_ , he thought harshly. All this time, he'd been hurting Yuuri and he'd never known. He must have thought so many times that he wasn't good enough for Victor, not until he was a world champion too. And dammit, Victor never wanted Yuuri to think that. Yuuri was sweet, and kind, and incredible, and breathtaking. Victor didn't deserve him. Especially if he'd made him think that a gold medal was the price of their wedding.

  
"Yuuri," he breathed, and he gathered Yuuri into his arms again. There was a squeak of surprise, but Yuuri didn't push away. He melted into it, hands sliding up Victor's back to hold him close. Victor nosed into Yuuri's hair and closed his eyes. "I'm so sorry, _solnyshko_. I didn't know that this hurt you so much."

  
"It's okay..."

  
"No, it's not." Pulling back, Victor smoothed the hair back from Yuuri's face. Yuuri blinked up at him, tearstained and brown eyes glimmering. He was beautiful, why couldn't he see that? "I don't want you thinking you're not enough for me," Victor murmured, voice thick with emotion. "You're so much. Yuuri, I don't think I can live without you now." Shock flickered over Yuuri's features and Victor offered half of a crooked smile. He skimmed his fingers lovingly down Yuuri's cheek. "Tell me when you want our wedding," he whispered. "Gold medal or not, I wanna be yours."

  
Yuuri stared at him, swallowing against what looked like an entirely different flood of emotion. Then his face crumpled into a wobbly smile, sob breaking free from his chest. "Victor," he gasped, surging off of the stool to throw his arms around Victor's neck. Victor caught him, arms locked around his waist to lift him on his toes, closer, always closer. He buried his face in Yuuri's neck and held on with fingers knotting in Yuuri's shirt. "I was afraid that I wasn't what you wanted anymore," Yuuri whimpered hoarsely. "I was afraid that you came back to skating and now it was enough."

  
"Skating will never be enough without you," Victor whispered into the crook of his shoulder. "You changed me, and _god_ , Yuuri, I'm so in love with you." He pressed kisses to Yuuri's shoulder and the side of his neck. Yuuri shivered in his arms, tilted into the touches. "I don't need anything else, as long as I have you."

  
"Me neither," Yuuri admitted, hushed. "You're all I ever wanted." When he took his head from Victor's shoulder and gazed up at him, Victor nearly melted. It reminded him of that time at the banquet, so long ago now. The night he'd first met a drunk little skater from Japan, with stars in his eyes when he looked at Victor and a smile like sunlight. Yuuri hadn't even known the effortless way he'd swept Victor off his feet in one night. It didn't matter. Victor knew and he wouldn't trade that night for anything in the world.

  
Victor nudged a strand of hair from Yuuri's face, then reached over for Yuuri's glasses. "You know," he began, playfully setting the glasses back on Yuuri's nose, "as much as I love you, sweetheart, I'm still a little sad that I didn't get to kiss your gold medal."

  
A blush spread across Yuuri's face at the pet name and the wonderful use of _I love you_. "Oh?" He tried for a nonchalant expression, but Victor was now tracing his nose with a fingertip; it brought a giggle out of him, his smile stupidly in love.

  
"Yeah. And you still haven't thought of anything I could kiss instead." Blue eyes twinkling slyly, Victor stepped forward, close enough for their foreheads to brush. Then he kept coming, until he'd backed a very flustered Yuuri up against the kitchen island. A tiny gasp escaped him, hands resting on Victor's shoulders. "Do you have any suggestions now?" Victor asked softly, leaning in until there were mere inches between them. His gaze darted down to Yuuri's mouth. "Something to excite me?"

  
The way the words were spoken, husky around the edges, left delightful tingles dancing down Yuuri's spine. He licked his lips nervously and Victor bit his lip against the urge to kiss him. "You could kiss me," Yuuri suggested, his voice small.

  
Unable to resist, Victor cocked his head. "Funny, I never thought of that—"

  
"Shut up and kiss me, Victor," Yuuri rasped, darting up and melding his mouth to Victor's. Victor sighed into the kiss, head tilting to slot their lips together. Yuuri tasted sweet and like a hint of salty tears, but it was perfect. There was nothing Victor wanted more in this moment. He braced a hand on the counter, the other making its way under the back of Yuuri's shirt. Yuuri pressed back into his palm, shivering as it splayed across the space between his shoulder blades. His shirt had ridden up, showing off miles of sleek, tanned skin. The want to trace that skin with his tongue had Victor whimpering against Yuuri's mouth.

  
In the next second, Yuuri had Victor's lower lip in his teeth and his fingers were tangling in his hair. He kissed like it was their last, stealing the breath from Victor's lungs. " _Yuuri_ ," he breathed out. In response, Yuuri hooked a leg around Victor's hips and arched up into him. The sight of him, completely pliant in Victor's arms, was almost enough to send him to his knees. He reached down, hands sliding under Yuuri's thighs to lift him up. Breath huffing out of him, Yuuri wrapped his legs around Victor's waist.

  
"I love you," he mumbled, between frantic kisses to Victor's mouth. "I love you so much, Victor, _Victor_." His fingers pulled just right in silver hair and Victor moaned.

  
"I can't believe I get to marry you," Victor gasped. He turned his head to let Yuuri kiss along his jawline, lost in the feeling of lips on his skin. "I can't believe you're mine." His hands spread across Yuuri's ass to hold him up and when his fingers curled, Yuuri let out a groan that made Victor's knees weak.

  
Breathing raggedly, Yuuri broke away and bumped their foreheads together. His fingers trailed reverently across Victor's cheek and skimmed down over his lips. Something softened in his gaze when Victor touched a kiss to his fingertips. "Wanna go back to bed?" he asked, barely above a whisper.

  
Still woozy with Yuuri's touch, Victor nodded.

  
A half-grin quirked up Yuuri's mouth. "Carry me?"

  
"Whatever you want," Victor promised, briefly kissing him again, just long enough to feel the hushed sigh that slipped out of Yuuri's mouth. The smile shared between them felt like a precious, secret thing, something no one else would know about.

  
_My husband,_ Victor thought, as he held Yuuri in their moonlit apartment, trying out the sound of the words.

  
Yes, he supposed he could get used to that.

 

 

 


End file.
